Dating and Romance Articles >> Longing For Love

Longing For Love

Ezine - 02/22/2012

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When asked people always say that communication is the most important thing in a relationship. Couples say without effective communication a successful marriage is difficult. Are you longing for a happy, healthy marriage? Are you looking for someone who knows what you want? Someone who will not hurt or mistreat you? Someone who knows what you are thinking? Are you longing for that kind of love?

I heard about a couple with a new baby. The wife said to the husband one night, I'm going to the store to get the baby some diapers. He said okay. She was angry with him for years for allowing her to go to the store late at night for diapers. She thought he should have volunteered to go to the store for diapers. He should not have wanted his wife and the mother of his child to go to the store at night. She decided if he really loved her, he would not have allowed her to have gone out at night. Of course he did not know any of this for a very long time. But from the time it happened it affected their relationship. She held it against him.

Another situation, a husband was in the hospital for surgery. After being in the hospital from early morning to late night, the wife took his family home and went to sleep. The next morning she got up, and she and the family went back to the hospital. Months later she found out that his expectation was for her to take his family home and come back to the hospital to sleep in the room with him. She thought she was doing the right thing. She found out at a later date that he considered her not coming back to the hospital an indication of her lack of concern for him, that she did not love him enough. He thought she should have known that she was expected to come back to the hospital.

In marriage we often think that our spouse should know us intimately. We thought he/she should have known what we were thinking, how we were feeling or how we would feel. Then when we don't get the result we were expecting it has a negative effect on the relationship; many times long lasting effects.

Many times the other person, the offending party, may not even know they did anything wrong. But they should know right? You did not tell them what your expectations were and you did not tell them when they did not meet your expectations but they should have known. They should just know you that well.

I'm going to suggest that if you are longing for that kind of love you are going to have to look higher. In Psalm 139 it says Lord you have searched me and known me, you know when I sit and when I rise, you know my thoughts before I think them and what I'm going to say before I say it. God is intimately acquainted with all my ways. God weaved me in my mother's womb. God is the only mind reader.

Let me suggest and recommend:

1) Attempting to know a person that well takes time. It takes a good vertical relationship with God and a good horizontal relationship with your spouse to sometimes know what each other are thinking, and how you feel without having to tell them.

2) Another way for you and your partner to get the love you long for is to treat each other the way you want to be treated. The Bible says to give one another due benevolence; to do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Which leads to number three

3) Ask for what you want. Tell your husband/wife what you want, and what you need. Let them know your expectations. Do not expect people to know you so well they know what you are thinking. Communicate!

If you want your spouse to go to the store ask them to go to the store. Don't say you are going and then hold it against them because they did not volunteer to go in your place. If you expect them to stay overnight with you, let them know your expectations. Do not bring it up in a later argument /discussion.

Do not end up carrying long term grudges because you failed to communicate to your partner what you want, need or expect. Just think these little things became big things. It's the little things when not dealt with that spread and grow and become destructive to your marriage. Help yourself get the love you long for by communicating.